Lilsue It can take a long time. I have been going through a situation but with my boyfriend for two years now. I have tried to break it off with him because I know he has so many issues, but have not been able to because my heart aches for him so much. He moved to another state two years ago and I last physically saw him 1 1/2 years ago, He writes all the time and tells me how much he loves me and wants to come back the end of the year and wants to spend the rest of his life with me, but my intelligence tells me I will be better off without him, yet when I tried to write him a letter this past weekend telling him once and for all I want to totally break it off, I started crying and my heart ached so badly. It's amazing how much it still hurts me. I've tried everything, meeting new men online, joining some groups, but nothing has helped much. I miss him so much.
I don't know what the answer is, but I am hoping to finally get on with my life and try and forget him, stop communications with him because if you don't, you will find you will waste so much energy and time which could have been used for something more productive. I am finally going to give myself a deadline to stop talking about him and reminiscing about our time together by the end of this month. Good luck to you.