Finding yourself in an emotionally abusive relationship, is like slowing waking up to the realization that you are the frog in the boiling pot of water. Before you know it you're emotional drained of any sort of self-esteem you once had. Emotional abuse has deleterious affects on the core of who you are and it's affecting your children. In fact, I think the hardest thing that makes leaving an emotional abusive relationship is coming to the realization that you are in fact in one.
So, how does one leave an emotionally abusive relationship with children? The most important thing you need is: SUPPORT, SUPPORT and more SUPPORT! If you take anything from this blog post, please remember that. Having the support of your friends and family will make all of the difference in the world. Of course there are all sorts of logistical concerns you will have in this situation and rightfully so. However, it doesn't matter how you get out of the boiling pot of water, it just matters that you get out of it as soon as possible. This is where the having support is at the crux of solving the problem. Anyone who finds themself in this situation will have different challenges to overcome when leaving. Whether you need financial help, emotional support, a place to stay, or all of the above; someone who has your best interests at heart is the perfect candidate. They might not understand exactly what you are going through by the hands of your abuser, but they want to see you truly happy and your children out of harms way. As long as you have support the "how" and "when" to leave will fall into place.
Now I know some folks reading this might be on the fence about leaving. You may question as to whether or not your are actually the frog in boiling water. The "why" you should leave is nebulous and I know you are thinking you might regret leaving. My advice for those of you that find yourselves in this situation is to ask yourself, when was the last time you truly laughed or smiled thinking about your other half and your life thereafter? Be honest with yourself and be critical when asking yourself this question. If the answer to this question is unsatisfactory, then there is no harm getting the support you need to leave, long enough to figure things out for yourself and for your children. It will be painful, but I assure you it will not be as painful as staying in an emotionally abusive situation that your little ones will have to suffer through.
Sometimes it's easier to talk to strangers about our concerns and problems. If you need support in leaving an emotionally abusive relationship, check out our abuse support group. It's free and at least can give you another perspective on your situation. If you are on the fence about whether or not emotional abandonment constitutes as emotional abuse, it does but with some caveat.