Uttering those words or typing them into Google may feel awful for some and empowering for others. Regardless of which camp you're in, it's okay. Understanding why you are not attracted to your husband might be missing piece you need to move forward in one direction or the other with your plans for happiness.
The question "why" you aren't attracted to your husband means everything. Maybe it's because of his ill-behaviors towards you and your little one's, or maybe it's because you just aren't sexually attracted to him anymore and your tastes have changed. Of course some reasons and merely superficial others not so much. In order to discover your truth you have to dig deep, because in the beginning you were attracted to him enough to wed thee. Ask yourself the following:
- Since when did you notice your attraction waning towards your husband?
- Has anything tramatic taken place between you and your husband?
- Are life circumstances a contributing factor and if so, is it possible to mitigate them?
- Lastly, what role are you playing in culivating this sentiment?
Please pay closer attention to question 4, because it is the part of your equation you can affect the most. Be honest with yourself, because the rest of your married life and/or happiness depends on it. As stated earlier, regardless of which camp you're in, it's okay. How can you change your behavior to effect his behavior; thus molding the man you fell in love with you took to be your forever?
Changing your behavior toward him (positively or negatively) will have the biggest impact on him. It's kinda like when we meet someone new who catches our eye for the first time. The reason why things feel wonderful is because we are relating to them in a new way without the convictions and judgements we have accrued in a marriage. Perhaps with a new approach and attitude he may surprise you in kind, and wake from his slumber of being unattractive for you. Just food for thought.
If you want to get more suggestion for a community of people who have been there, please join our online marriage support group. It's free and available to you.